10 Years and I Still Miss You So Very Much :(

Every year, as your birthday approaches, it hits me all of a sudden. The realization that one more year has gone by. You would have been 10 years old this year. I only had 3 hours with you and that is all the memories I have of you. Time heals all wounds and your memory is not as painful to me anymore.

315,360,000 seconds
5,256,000 minutes
87,600 hours
3,650 days
521.42857143 weeks
120 months
40 quarters
1 decade
It's been 10 years sinceyou have been gone and I miss you more each day.Until I see you again,I will hold you in my heart.Love always,Mom

Out on a Whim Collection by Dianne Rigdon
http://scrapbookgraphics.com/xcart/product.php?productid=20738&cat=0&page=1
Font: TS-SBGFarkleberry by Traci Sims
http://scrapbookgraphics.com/xcart/product.php?productid=20746&cat=279&page=1
For the SSD Cookie Decorating Challenge April 9. Cookie based on a LO by Jacq Delfin.
Beaded Alpha by Kimberly Giarruso/TDC
Photo ID # 912758
2542

A Remembrance for All Seasons

Another page for my mom's memorial album. Poem of my own inspiration.

I will remember you...When the robins arrive announcing Spring's arrival.Surely the flowers you so loved will be blooming soon.

I will remember you...When the leaves change their colors and the dusky sky is on fire,
For Autumn was your favorite season.

I will remember you...When Winter brings our first snowfallAnd we our celebrating a white Christmas.

I will remember you...When we gather with family and friends each SummerFor picnics and merriment in the great outdoors.

Just like you, I will be the one taking the photos, hoping to capture fleeting moments for posterity.

In every moment, I will remember you.

Credits:
--Raffia flowers (white with golden beads) from Verde elements by Sausan Designs
--Willow stem by ON Designs
--Paper tears and curl by Jen Caputo
--Book, paper border and ribbon from Funky Junky Spring Fling Elements by Michelle Godin
--Purple flower from Spring Fling elements by Birgit Kerr
--Frame, white and pink flowers, lace border and long dried flower from IO Healing and Calm by the Studio Girls
-Font: Cherish
--Wings, dotted circle/number stamp and swirl from a Little Magic set by Vera Lim (April grabbag)
--Brown bg. ppr., fern and green pine from Sweetness kit by Manuela Zimmerman
--Berry garland from Bunnies and Brownies Coll. by Lorie Davison
--Cream newsprint ppr. from Nana's Secret Garden by Flergs

2426

Do Not Weep

I wish I had had the foresight to ask Mom the questions I always had in the back of my mind...

As I make these pages about her, I realize how much time I wasted and how different my priorities are than hers. If only I had known that her end would be coming so soon, I would have made the time and set aside any stones impeding our way. Too late now. The only thing left to do is for me to remember her in a positive way. Maybe give a bit of insight about her life to my siblings. Maybe my artistry (yes, this is the first time in my life that I consider my pages art!) will help them down the road. My wish is that when they look at this book they can remember the good times they had with her and maybe learn something that they didn't know already.

Do Not Stand at my Grave and Weep
Do not stand at my grave and weep, I am not there, I do not sleep. I am in a thousand winds that blow, I am the softly falling snow. I am the gentle showers of rain, I am the fields of ripening grain. I am in the morning hush, I am in the graceful rush Of beautiful birds in circling flight, I am the starshine of the night. I am in the flowers that bloom, I am in a quiet room. I am in the birds that sing, I am in each lovely thing. Do not stand at my grave and cry, I am not there. I do not die. - Mary E. Frye- 1932

--Poem by Mary E. Frye, 1932

--Font: Penstyle

--Robin - stock exchange photo 524281.

--Nest - stock exchange photo 76874

--Orange Butterfly - Butterflies #1 by O.N. Designs

http://www.scrapbookgraphics.com/xcart/product.php?productid=20476&cat=0&page=1

--Bg. ppr. in soft light mode, Raffia Flowers, vine, bugs, tiny butterflies and pink (carnation) flowers from Verde Kit by Sausan Designs
--Branches with luscious green leaves and baby's breath from Spring Fling, The Elements by Birgit Kerr.

http://www.scrapbookgraphics.com/xcart/product.php?productid=20404&cat=0&page=1

--Bright green leaves along the left bottom side from Painted Doodles No. 2 by ON Designs

http://www.scrapbookgraphics.com/xcart/product.php?productid=20277&cat=0&page=1

--Pink crepe flower from Kit No. 14 by ON Designshttp://www.scrapbookgraphics.com/xcart/product.php?productid=20355&cat=0&page=1--Light brushes from Obsidian Dawn

--Base bg. ppr. from Afternoon Serenade (March grabbag) by Meredith Fenwick

--Yellow bug from Birdy elements by Sausan Designs

http://www.scrapbookgraphics.com/xcart/product.php?productid=20487&cat=0&page=1

--Alpha - ON Designs Alpha No. 2

http://www.scrapbookgraphics.com/xcart/product.php?productid=19042&cat=0&page=1

--Pink flower and remember label from Lingering Joys, the elements, by Birgit Kerr

http://www.scrapbookgraphics.com/xcart/product.php?productid=19803&cat=0&page=1Purple long flower from Garden Variety by Doris Castle (unavailable)

Stream photo blended in the backgroun is from Amy Pearson's A Walk in the Woods stock photos set.

http://www.scrapbookgraphics.com/xcart/product.php?productid=20492&cat=0&page=1

Barn/Farm blended in the background is from Stephanie O'Neill's Farms and Barns

http://www.scrapbookgraphics.com/xcart/product.php?productid=20230&cat=0&page=2

Doris Castle's Blog Playday

--Light brushes from Obsidian Dawn
--Wooden frame, crumpled paper and bg. pprs from Classic Trios by Doris Castle.
http://www.scrapbookgraphics.com/xcart/product.php?productid=19436&cat=0&page=1
--Hanging-doilie by Terry Maruca
http://store.scrapbook-elements.com/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=&products_id=5504
--TSIMS_Coming-Home-Pocket-Watch
http://www.scrapbookgraphics.com/xcart/product.php?productid=19915&cat=0&page=1
--Leaves, label frame, wordholder1 and twirl leaf from Prairie Gal by Lorie Davison
http://www.scrapbookgraphics.com/xcart/product.php?productid=19981&cat=0&page=1
--ondesigns_frameset_no4_frame1
http://www.scrapbookgraphics.com/xcart/product.php?productid=19797&cat=0&page=4
--Green flower with pearls (flower16) from Water Spirit from Lorie Davison
http://www.scrapbookgraphics.com/xcart/product.php?productid=20382&cat=0&page=1
----Flower from Sweet Summer's End by Birgit Kerr
http://www.scrapbookgraphics.com/xcart/product.php?productid=19824&cat=0&page=1
--Staples from Maya's Personal Stash - Staples by Maya
http://www.scrapbookgraphics.com/xcart/product.php?productid=19871&cat=0&page=2
--Boxes from Box It Up by Maya
http://www.scrapbookgraphics.com/xcart/product.php?productid=20336&cat=0&page=1
--White tie wrap from Spring Fling by Birgit Kerr
http://www.scrapbookgraphics.com/xcart/product.php?productid=20404&cat=0&page=1
--Metal tag from Birdy elements by Sausan Designs
http://www.scrapbookgraphics.com/xcart/product.php?productid=20487&cat=0&page=1
--Photo of light shining through the woods from Walk in the Woods_6 by Amy Pearson.
http://www.scrapbookgraphics.com/xcart/product.php?productid=20492&cat=0&page=1
--Gold wire wrap from Thats a Wrap by Birgit Kerr
http://www.scrapbookgraphics.com/xcart/product.php?productid=19865&cat=0&page=4
--Stacked framed from Dreamery set by Dana Frantz
http://www.scrapbookgraphics.com/xcart/product.php?productid=20152&cat=0&page=1
--Little-Krafty Alpha Tags by Traci Sims
http://www.scrapbookgraphics.com/xcart/product.php?productid=19495&cat=0&page=1
--Wood ornament from Kit No. 14 by ON Designs
http://www.scrapbookgraphics.com/xcart/product.php?productid=20355&cat=0&page=1
--Raffia flowers (white)and twigframe from Verde kit by Sausan Designs
http://www.scrapbookgraphics.com/xcart/product.php?productid=20631&cat=0&page=1
--Willow catkin from Kit #14 by ON Designs
http://www.scrapbookgraphics.com/xcart/product.php?productid=20355&cat=0&page=1
--Flowers from Garden Variety Pressed Flowers by Doris Castle
--Butterfly from Butterfly set by ON Designs
http://www.scrapbookgraphics.com/xcart/product.php?productid=20476&cat=0&page=1
--Dreamery fairy dust overlay3 and tiny pink flowers by Dana Frantz
http://www.scrapbookgraphics.com/xcart/product.php?productid=20152&cat=0&page=1
(Frame 1 - Doris Castle, Frame 2 - Lori Davison, Frame 3 - ON Designs, Frame 4 - ON Designs, Frame 5 - ON Designs, Frame 6 - Dreamery - Dana Frantz)
--Fonts: Times New Roman and Virginie
--Vintage Lomo action from EZ Does It Combo 1 by Traci Sims
http://www.scrapbookgraphics.com/xcart/product.php?productid=20335&cat=254&page=1
2328

The Obituary

In case you are wondering about the abundance of flowers in my pages...it is easy, really - Mom loved flowers - the brighter, the better.

Font: Times New Roman
Hearts by Doris Castle
Label and buckle border from Prairie Gal by Lorie Davison

http://www.scrapbookgraphics.com/xcart/product.php?productid=19981&cat=0&page=1
Pink paper border from March grab bag by Birgit Kerr.Glitter flowers (white, red and dark red) from Luscious Flowers set in the March grab bg by Birgit Kerr

http://www.scrapbookgraphics.com/xcart/product.php?productid=20597&cat=0&page=1Grid stamps (all along side of the frame and on the right side of the page) from March grabbag by Birgit.

http://www.scrapbookgraphics.com/xcart/product.php?productid=20597&cat=0&page=1
Cherry Blossom border by Flergs

http://www.scrapbookgraphics.com/xcart/product.php?productid=20573&cat=0&page=1
Frame from Frames Coll.#1 by Manuela Zimmerman

http://www.scrapbookgraphics.com/xcart/product.php?productid=20376&cat=0&page=5
Purple flowers and branch from Spring Fling kit by Birgit Kerr

http://www.scrapbookgraphics.com/xcart/product.php?productid=20401&cat=0&page=1

Background ppr. from Front Porch kit by Birgit Kerr
http://www.scrapbookgraphics.com/photopost/showphoto.php?photo=30409&cat=587

The Last Goodbye

Kaylie loves this dress and insisted on wearing it for my mom's viewing. As my sister and I were sorting through my mom's personal effects, we came across a pair of earrings that were so very pretty and perfect for Kaylie. Needless to say, she only wanted to wear this particular pair of earrings. This was her way of honoring her. She wanted to look her best and to her that meant wearing her burgundy dress and floral earrings. She was the only person wearing red at the viewing, but I couldn't deny her wish.

Kit 14 by ON Designs

http://www.scrapbookgraphics.com/xcart/product.php?productid=20355&cat=0&page=1

EyeLoveYou 12x12 photo ovelays by Berna Datema

http://www.scrapbookgraphics.com/xcart/product.php?productid=20462&cat=0&page=1

Font: Passions Conflict and Pea Elizabeth

Round frame - Fun with Frames by Bren Boone

Butterfly from Butterflies No. 1 by ON Designs

http://www.scrapbookgraphics.com/xcart/product.php?productid=20476&cat=0&page=1

Circle Stitching by Traci Sims.

Tied ribbon by Petja 24.

Sketch by Becky Fleck

Silver glitter style applied to title made with Chocolate Berry Glitter Gel by Flergs

http://www.scrapbookgraphics.com/xcart/product.php?productid=20179&cat=0&page=5

The Long Kiss Goodnight

Wednesday, February 27, 2008 - Continuation of previous post - http://kaitgnzlz-momentsintime.blogspot.com/2008/02/hard-choices-doing-unthinkable.html

On my last post I told you that we had told my Dad that we (the children) wanted all the testing, dialysis, etc. stopped...

Later on in the afternoon, my sister went to spend time with Mom at the hospital and had the chance to talk with our Mom's doctor. He told her that there was nothing that they could do for our mom, that the treatments were not working and that all of our mom's organs had failed. He told her that he would be taking off all of the machinery, tubes, etc. The doctor waited until my father and sister got there before he proceeded with the necessary arrangements.


In the meantime, I had called my husband, to make sure that he came home right away, so he could stay with his 94 year old grandmother and our 2 kids while I went to the hospital, too. I called my sister at the hospital to have her come pick me up by 7 p.m. (she had my car). My husband got home at 7:00 p.m. and we headed for the hospital like a bat out of hell. We called our brother in Florida to tell him that the doctors would be removing all the machinery and medicines and for him to prepare for the worst.


When we were approaching Robert Wood Johnson Hospital in Hamilton, it was snowing. The temparature was 25 degrees, and boy, was it windy! We arrived at the hospital at 7:30 p.m.; I have no idea how I drove there. My father was there, so was my brother Roberto, as well as my mom's best friend, a nephew with his wife, who had been a former sister in law and was now a friend and a niece. I went in to see her, was there for a little while and then stepped out to talk to my dad. While he and I were hashing over our wishes, pondering the issue of long lost relatives that we haven't seen in years, and wondering about how to go on, Evelyn, my sister, came to get us as Mom was slowing down. We arrived as she took her last breath and the machine started beeping.

The doctors only removed the 2 blood pressure medications and nothing else. 45 minutes after we arrived at the hospital she passed away. 3 out of her 4 children were with her, as was her husband of 25 years, her best friend, the aforementioned nephew and wife and a niece. Later on arrived my uncle with his wife, 2 of his children; my mom's older sister and several of her children. She wasn't alone. She was in peace at last. We stayed there until 10:15 waiting for the hospital staff to take her away. When I didn't see this happening, I talked to the nurse to inquire why they hadn't removed the body. As it turns out, they were just waiting for everyone to say their goodbyes before they come in to clean up the patient and move the body to the morgue. I waited for everyone to go home, then went in to her room and cried my heart out. I asked her to forgive me if I were a less than exemplary daughter to her and gave her a hug, a kiss and wished her a peaceful sleep.

I then called the funeral home and made an appointment to make arrangements the next morning.

Count On Me to REMEMBER

Though my son Adam passed away 3 years before Kaylie was born, and 4 years before Liam, I have a need to teach them that we need to honor his memory. I'd like to think that he is in a much better place looking over all of us.

Bg. Ppr.: Fleece Blanket Pakhttp://cottagearts-net.stores.yahoo.net/flblpapakw.html

Flowery Swirls are from Count on Me Element Pk.

http://cottagearts-net.stores.yahoo.net/coonmeelpak.html

Power Borders 1 template by Julie Mead @ CottageArts.Nethttp://cottagearts-net.stores.yahoo.net/pobo1te.html

Font: Elegant

Template (modified) from CottageArts Simply Done 1

Count On Me To Remember

K & L placing flowers on Adam's Grave.

Bg. Ppr.: Fleece Blanket Pak
http://cottagearts-net.stores.yahoo.net/flblpapakw.htmlFlowery Swirls are from Count on Me Element Pk.
http://cottagearts-net.stores.yahoo.net/coonmeelpak.html
Power Borders 1 template by Julie Mead @ CottageArts.Net
http://cottagearts-net.stores.yahoo.net/pobo1te.html
Template (modified) from CottageArts Simply Done 1
1508

Nothing Can Ever Take Away The Love

This page is very special to me. It depicts my daughter placing wildflowers upon her brother's grave. Adam would have been 9 years old this past April.

I am trying to teach my children that they should honor the memories of those that have gone before them. Gone but not forgotten is my mantra.

Nothing can ever take awaythe LOVE a heart holds dear. Fond memories linger EVERY DAYRemembrance keeps them near. Unknown Author xoxo, Kaylie.

Kaylie placing Buttercups and Dandelions on Adam's Grave.

(Adam would have been 9 years old, had he lived, this past April 20th.)

Kaylie's handwritten name and heart were scanned.Round alpha by MissVivi, Bayadere kit.Black tied ribbon by Traci Sims.Round glass element by Taran Conyers. (a freebie from eons ago)The journaling stamp is by Kellie H. Mize, DesigerDigitalsThe word "LOVE" is from Taran Conyer's Timeless Echoes - Josephine page set, at SBGhttp://www.scrapbookgraphics.com/xca...t=0&page=2Dried flowers - Garden Variety by Doris Castle.http://www.scrapbookgraphics.com/xca...t=0&page=1Sunlit Memories page set, by Doris Castle at SBGhttp://www.scrapbookgraphics.com/xca...t=0&page=1Template (modified) Simply Elegant 3, by Janet Phillips, SBGhttp://www.scrapbookgraphics.com/xca...t=0&page=1Shimmer Shop: Shimmer words, by Kristin Kristin Cronin Barrow-SBGhttp://www.scrapbookgraphics.com/xca...t=0&page=1Fonts: Scritina (R), Times New Roman.

If Roses Grow In Heaven...

Next month, my son would have been 9 years old. Every once in a while I go to the gravesite and take them along. Adam is gone, but certainly not forgotten.


Photo Details
Poster: LovelyMissKait (see this users gallery)
I so wanted to use this kit for a springy and happy ocassion, but this is what was begging to come out.If roses grow in Heaven, Lord please pick a bunch for me, Place them in my brother’s arms And tell him they’re from me. Tell him that I love him and miss him, And when he turns to smile, Place a kiss upon his cheek And hold him for a while. Because remembering him is easy, I do it every day, But there’s an ache within my heart Because I am missing him today.Whispers page set, by Doris Castle, Scrapbook-Graphicshttp://www.scrapbookgraphics.com/xcart/product.php?productid=17604&cat=0&page=1Template by Tracy Blankenship.Font: Marydale, Mariah
If you want to see a bigger version: http://www.scrapbookgraphics.com/photopost/showphoto.php?photo=7963

Scrap Therapy #9 at Scrapbook-Graphics - Pivotal Moment

Sometimes events happen for a reason. When I lost my son shortly after being born, life as I knew it came to an end. Gone were the rose-colored glasses with which I viewed life. My eyes opened to the stark reality that as much as I wanted my son to be alive, I couldn’t bring him back. I can’t tell you what happened in the months that followed...it is all a blur. Hours turned into days, days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months. Time and life went on. I had to return to normal life whether I wanted or not. I enrolled at the Cittone Institute of Technology for a course in Office Automation. I excelled in my classes and was asked to be class valedictorian. I declined it because I hate being the center of attention. After graduation, I applied to a few places and even found the perfect job, for which I was more than qualified and even paid me more than I had asked form but I was not happy. After two weeks in the job, I quit. One day I noticed an ad in the newspaper from an adoption agency looking for a secretary. I interviewed for the position and subsequently hired. While there, I learned all I could about adoptions, from both an adoptive parent’s and a birth parent’s position. With eyes wide open, it became clear to me that this was Providence guiding my way to regain that which I had lost: a precious child. On January 3, 2001 my beloved daughter was born, as was I. Sixteen months later I was blessed with my son Liam. My rose colored glasses are back on for good! Kaylie and Daddy, January 4th, 2001Gaze page set, by Carrie Stephens, Scrapbook-GraphicsFrame: Groupie set #1 by Doris Castle, Scrapbook-GraphicsDuplicates: Growth Spur by Heather Roselli/Rachael Giallongo, TheDigiChick . Scalloped edge (recolored) by Mindy Terasawa, DesignerDigitals. Font: Don Semi-Formal and SA Kiss