Tuesday, March 04, 2008

The Long Kiss Goodnight

Wednesday, February 27, 2008 - Continuation of previous post - http://kaitgnzlz-momentsintime.blogspot.com/2008/02/hard-choices-doing-unthinkable.html

On my last post I told you that we had told my Dad that we (the children) wanted all the testing, dialysis, etc. stopped...

Later on in the afternoon, my sister went to spend time with Mom at the hospital and had the chance to talk with our Mom's doctor. He told her that there was nothing that they could do for our mom, that the treatments were not working and that all of our mom's organs had failed. He told her that he would be taking off all of the machinery, tubes, etc. The doctor waited until my father and sister got there before he proceeded with the necessary arrangements.

In the meantime, I had called my husband, to make sure that he came home right away, so he could stay with his 94 year old grandmother and our 2 kids while I went to the hospital, too. I called my sister at the hospital to have her come pick me up by 7 p.m. (she had my car). My husband got home at 7:00 p.m. and we headed for the hospital like a bat out of hell. We called our brother in Florida to tell him that the doctors would be removing all the machinery and medicines and for him to prepare for the worst.

When we were approaching Robert Wood Johnson Hospital in Hamilton, it was snowing. The temparature was 25 degrees, and boy, was it windy! We arrived at the hospital at 7:30 p.m.; I have no idea how I drove there. My father was there, so was my brother Roberto, as well as my mom's best friend, a nephew with his wife, who had been a former sister in law and was now a friend and a niece. I went in to see her, was there for a little while and then stepped out to talk to my dad. While he and I were hashing over our wishes, pondering the issue of long lost relatives that we haven't seen in years, and wondering about how to go on, Evelyn, my sister, came to get us as Mom was slowing down. We arrived as she took her last breath and the machine started beeping.

The doctors only removed the 2 blood pressure medications and nothing else. 45 minutes after we arrived at the hospital she passed away. 3 out of her 4 children were with her, as was her husband of 25 years, her best friend, the aforementioned nephew and wife and a niece. Later on arrived my uncle with his wife, 2 of his children; my mom's older sister and several of her children. She wasn't alone. She was in peace at last. We stayed there until 10:15 waiting for the hospital staff to take her away. When I didn't see this happening, I talked to the nurse to inquire why they hadn't removed the body. As it turns out, they were just waiting for everyone to say their goodbyes before they come in to clean up the patient and move the body to the morgue. I waited for everyone to go home, then went in to her room and cried my heart out. I asked her to forgive me if I were a less than exemplary daughter to her and gave her a hug, a kiss and wished her a peaceful sleep.

I then called the funeral home and made an appointment to make arrangements the next morning.


Anonymous said...

It's at times like this that an internet friendship is difficult. I wish I could be there to hold your hand or hang onto you while you cry. Knowing mothers, she forgave you for any hurt long ago..... Hugs, Marci

Karen Bowers said...

oh, kait. your love and commitment to her must have meant a great deal to her. this is a beautiful record of this important moment in your family's life together.

wishing i could hug you,

Jenna Jaquez said...

me too...wish I could hug you doll..words just can't express my feelings nor being able to physically give you a nice warm hug. my thoughts are still with you and yours, Kait.